Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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