apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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