Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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