dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
4 words: hood of his car
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
