my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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