can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
