4 words: hood of his car
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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