i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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