Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
its not stalking. its research.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize