As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
