Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
