Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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