This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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