bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
