Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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