I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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