Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
