If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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