i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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