Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
