I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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