So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
