For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
