They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
