i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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