i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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