I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize