It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
