very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
