We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
