you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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