he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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