Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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