this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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