If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm so fucking centered right now
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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