Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
do herpes really smell.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize