i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
