That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
