If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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