We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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