i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
