i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sorry about my life...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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