Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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