On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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