Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is wine microwaveable?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize