"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
