Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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