tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
