Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
