Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
