I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
