We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
