.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
