literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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