I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
