I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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