remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dicks are not precious.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
