soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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