I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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