he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
