tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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